


Say You Love Me

by Sanalith



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: A Land Without Magic, F/M, Spoilers, finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-23
Updated: 2012-05-23
Packaged: 2017-11-05 21:58:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanalith/pseuds/Sanalith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a prompt in the Livejournal community "onceuponaland" to write a fic inspired by song lyrics. My version of Gold's thoughts during the end of A Land Without Magic, as well as how I think events might have progressed just after the end of the show. SPOILERS for the finale! Lyrics are from the song "When You Say You Love Me" by Josh Groban.</p><p>Rating is for a few choice words from Mr. Gold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say You Love Me

  


_"Like the sound of silence calling, I hear your voice and suddenly I'm falling, lost in a dream.  
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting, you say those words and my heart stops beating.  
I wonder what it means. What could it be that comes over me?  
At times I can't move. At times I can hardly breathe.”_  


Rumpelstiltskin had always hated becoming over-emotional. Aside from the actual magic, his favorite “gift” from the Dark One was his complete and utter self-control. Cool amusement was generally the most emotion he allowed to show, and then only because he enjoyed baiting the fools who came to him for help. The few times he had lost control...well. Best not to dwell on those.

But as much as Rumpelstiltskin disliked allowing his emotions to overwhelm him, Mr. Gold truly DESPISED it. His entire persona was based on being calm, collected, and always one step ahead of the game. The suave man in the silk tie who always seemed to be smiling at something just beyond everyone else’s vision. Despite no longer having any powers, an out-of-control Gold was 10 times more frightening than Rumpelstiltskin had ever been.

And right now, _especially now_ , after so much careful planning and plotting...now was NOT the time to lose himself.

But he was still weak from his most recent failure, when he’d been tricked, when that bastard puppet had the unmitigated GALL to pretend to be his son. August or Pinnochio or whatever the hell he chose to call himself...he’d seen Gold at quite possibly his lowest point, full of tears and bitterness and 300 years worth of self-loathing, and that was unforgivable. He was also completely distracted by the glowing purple vial he’d just unlocked from the egg Miss Swan had been SO good to retrieve, and his mind was racing faster than it had in decades.

_~So much to do...so little time...~_

Gold hated making excuses, but he was exhausted from planning, high-strung with the worry that something would go wrong so close to the end, and August’s deception had cut him deeper than he’d ever let on. And perhaps that was why, when a softly accented voice startled him by asking his name, and he promptly turned to dismiss the annoying presence...he felt himself losing control all over again.

He should have known. Should have realized it from the moment she’d opened her lovely little mouth. He’d heard her voice in his head every night for longer than he could remember. Sometimes she whispered words of love and forgiveness, and sometimes she hurled insults and recriminations, but it was always the same lilting tone.

 _~But she’s DEAD!~_ his heart wailed, beating anxiously in his breast. _~Dead and gone and buried because of YOU!~_

And yet...and yet....

There she stood. Her hair was a massive rat’s nest of tangles, her skin was much too pale, and her eyes had lost their sparkle and zest. She was dressed in hospital rags instead of silk gowns, and her shoulders slumped slightly, as though she’d spent too many years hunched over...or curled in a ball.

And she’d never once looked more beautiful to him.

_~Belle.~_

Before he could even think of a coherent phrase, much less make his mouth move, she spoke again, giving him all the answers he could have ever asked for.

“I was...told you find you,” she said haltingly, as though repeating a pre-arranged script, “and tell you that...Regina locked me up.” She looked at him hopefully. “Does that mean anything to you?”

Regina. Of course. The only person in town who had a chance in hell of keeping a secret from him for the last 28 years. Regina. That cold, heartless _bitch_.

By all the gods above and below, she would pay.

But not now. Not when he had no control, when he was holding back his tears with a single, thin thread of strength, when he still couldn’t allow himself to believe what his eyes and heart and mind were telling him.

After all, he’d been fooled before.

As she watched, confused, he reached out with a shaking hand, touching just the tips of his fingers to the oversized jacket she was wearing. He half expected his hand to simply pass through her, confirming her as the ghost she simply had to be.

Warm fabric met his fingers. He ran his hand upward, then squeezed her shoulder, meeting flesh and bone. A ghost of her breath touched his face.

“You’re real,” he whispered, hardly recognizing the broken words as his own.

She looked up at him, confused but still full of bravery and courage.

“I was told,” she said hesitantly, “that you’d protect me.”

And that’s when Gold broke.

He failed her before, in their other life. Forced her into servitude with a beast, and then cast her off when she no longer fit his needs. Treated her like a pawn when she was always _always_ the Queen. Accused her of treachery and betrayal when all she’d given was her heart and soul...and her love. She’d been right to call him coward. He hadn’t been worthy to crawl in the dirt she walked upon.

But he’d fail her no longer. He was no Prince Charming, but then, he’d always believed her to be fairer and braver than Snow White. She needed protection. Needed _him_. That was enough.

Unable to help himself, tears pricking his eyelashes, Gold pulled her into a desperate embrace. He ran his fingers through her thick, tangled hair, inhaling the scent of her neck. It was tainted by decay and must from her prison cell, but beneath it all he still caught her sweet aroma of roses and sunshine. He might not deserve her, but he’d be damned if he lost her again.

“Yes,” he swore into her shoulder, tugging her even closer against his chest. “Yes, I’ll protect you.”

_~Nothing will ever harm you again. Nothing. No one. I promise you. It’s forever, dearie.~_

Pulling away slightly, but still remaining contentedly within the circle of his arms, she looked up at him, her eyes still clouded.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “but...do I know you?”

His heart ached at the words, and while his mind screamed that she had to remember - SHE MUST! - he took a deep breath and forced himself to shake his head. “No, you don’t.” A hint of iron crept into his voice as he gazed deeply into her eyes. “But you will.”

_~And may the gods have mercy on anyone who tries to keep us apart again.~_

******

  


_"When you say you love me, the world goes still, so still inside.  
And when you say you love me,for a moment, there's no one else alive.”_  


Gold wanted nothing more than to hold his precious Belle in his arms for eternity, to kneel at her feet and beg forgiveness for crimes she didn’t even remember. He wanted to draw her a warm bath, wrap her in thick cotton robes and serve her a hot meal from his own hands. He wanted to tuck her beneath a down comforter and smooth her brow as she fell asleep in his arms.

But he’d always wanted more than he could have, and this was no exception.

Grasping her hands in his - had they always been so tiny? - he looked deeply into her eyes. “Listen to me very carefully. I will take care of you. I will protect you. I will make sure no one ever hurts you again. But right now...right now there’s an errand I absolutely _must_ take care of. If it could wait, I swear to you I would, but it can’t. I have to go _now_.”

Belle bit her lip, but she nodded her understanding. “Shall I...just wait for you here, then?” she asked softly, glancing around his shop.

Gold’s hands tightened on hers. “Oh no, dearie. I’m not letting you out of my sight, not for a moment.” He paused. “I’d like you to come with me, if you will. It’s only a short journey, I promise, and then we can go back to my home and get you cleaned up.” He gave her a hopeful smile. “Will you come with me? Please?”

He’d half expected her to refuse. He was a complete and utter stranger to her, and she had only his word that he would protect her and not harm her further. But she’d always been brave, and perhaps - just perhaps - there was something of him buried deeply in the back of her mind that made her know she could trust him.

Returning his smile, she ducked her head in agreement. “All right. I will go with you.”

The “forever” seemed to hang in the air between them, but Gold forced himself to move forward. He patted his pocket to ensure the precious vial was still safe, and he placed his arm around her shoulders and led her to the door.

It was a short drive to the woods at the edge of Storybrooke, and Belle seemed disinclined to speak. She had her nose practically pressed right up against the window, greedily absorbing the sights of the outside world, and Gold felt his heart ache. How much she had suffered, and right under his nose!

Not truly wanting to hear the answers, but knowing he had to ask, even if it was only to torture himself more, he reached over and touched her knee, still keeping his eyes on the road. “Do you know where you were all this time, dearie? Or for how long?”

Belle rested her hand lightly on his, almost absently, as she continued to look out the window, but he trembled at her touch just the same.

“Hospital,” she replied succinctly, her voice tight. “Basement. One tiny window.” She hesitated. “I’m not sure for how long. I tried keeping track of the days at first, but after a while...” Her voice trailed off, and he resisted the urge to clasp her fingers tightly in his.

“And how did you get out?” His rage at Regina for locking her up made it difficult to keep his voice even, but he would not - _would never again_ \- raise his voice to her.

Her confusion was evident. “A man came into my room. He was dressed in hospital scrubs, but I’d never seen him before. Dark hair, dark eyes...”

Gold was curious as to who had freed his Belle. Someone who remembered their true past, obviously, and someone who held a grudge against Regina. At Belle’s description, he thought briefly of August, but knowing his condition made that seem improbable.

“Oh!” Her voice brightened suddenly. “I remember now! Jefferson. He told me his name was Jefferson.” Belle tore her eyes away from the road to look at him hopefully. “Do you know him? I’d like to see him again and thank him properly.”

Gold felt a flicker of shock at the name, but he had to admit it made sense. He’d only spied the reclusive Hatter once or twice in the past 28 years, and never once had he given any indication that he’d known the truth. But Wonderland’s taint was strong, even across worlds. Madness of that kind brought a clarity that could surpass even his curse.

“I’ll make sure you get to thank him, if that is your wish,” Gold promised. “I know him, and I know where to find him.”

“Thank you very much,” she said, doing what he’d forbidden himself and squeezing his hand tightly. “Do you...do you happen to know _why_ he set me free?”

Gold couldn’t hold back a smirk. “He and Regina are old enemies,” he replied, “and anything that would harm her pleases him.” The smile faded. “And he knew I wouldn’t let this go unpunished. He’s no match for Regina now...but I am.”

Belle clearly heard the darkness in his voice, but she continued to hold his hand. “Why would this Regina lock me up? What have I done to her?”

They’d reached the edge of the forest, and Gold pulled off the road and stopped the car. Unbuckling his seat belt, he turned to Belle and grasped her other hand, pulling them briefly to his lips.

“You, my dear,” he replied softly, “managed the impossible. You made someone Regina hated very, very happy, and if there is one thing she cannot abide, it is someone else’s happiness.”

Belle gazed deeply into his eyes, and she leaned ever so slightly closer. “Who did I make happy?” she whispered.

Gold closed his eyes, not allowing himself the flicker of hope that burned in his breast.

_~”True love’s kiss can break any curse...”~_

“You’ll remember in time. I promise.”

Taking a deep breath, he released her hands and jerked his head toward the forest. “Come. It’s a bit of a walk, but not a bad one. We’ll be finished shortly, and then we can get you taken care of.”

Belle held his eyes for one more moment, but then she obediently turned and opened her door to climb out.

Their destination was less than a 10 minute walk, but Belle began lagging behind about halfway there. She seemed happy just to be outside, surrounded by nature, and he didn’t have the heart to tell her to hurry or drag her along against her will. He couldn’t give her the time she deserved back at his shop, but he could give her these few extra moments.

Because she was already a few paces behind him, he didn’t realize she’d stopped entirely until her voice, soft and hesitant, called out, “Wait.”

Inwardly, Gold cursed himself. He should never have brought her with him. She’d just escaped from a hospital cell! She was tired and worn out, physically and emotionally. Once again, he’d put his own needs ahead of hers.

But he couldn’t bear to be parted from her, even for the short time it would take to complete this mission. Even after all these years, he was still a selfish bastard.

They were close now, though, close enough that it would take too long to drive her back to his house and then come back alone, so he chose to press on.

“No, no, we’re very close,” he assured her, calling over his shoulders without breaking his stride. “Very close now, I promise, and then we’ll be done.”

He could feel her hesitation, a thick, live entity hanging between them, and the air felt charged with it.

And then in a tiny voice, so brittle and soft that he could almost swear he imagined it, she whispered, “Rumpelstiltskin. Wait.”

Gold froze.

Names had power, even here in this world without magic. He could no more disobey her than if she held his dagger.

He couldn’t let himself believe. He couldn’t dare it. Not again, not so soon after being fooled.

But then she was coming up behind him and her hands were reaching out, and he forced himself to turn around.

Belle starred back at him, eyes wide and filled with both fear and happiness.

 _His_ Belle.

She was whole again.

“I...remember,” she breathed, taking another step closer.

Gold clenched his teeth, his knuckles white on his cane.

If she remembered, then she remembered everything. His shouts, his accusations, his harsh shaking. She’d remember him as a coward who tossed her aside and refused her heart, though she wore it bleeding on her sleeve.

If she remembered, she’d hate him.

It seemed Regina still won this round.

“I...I love you.”

Time stopped, and for the second time in as many hours, Gold _broke_.

Her voice was hesitant, almost questioning, but who could blame her? He’d rejected her love once. Why should this time be any different?

But here she was again, the brave little princess, standing toe to toe with the beast and shattering his heart into a million pieces.

She should hate him. She should _despise_ him!

“I love you.”

And though he knew himself the most unworthy creature in both words, Gold couldn’t help himself. Half-stumbling toward her, he swept her up into a fierce embrace, clutching her as tightly as he possibly could.

“Yes,” he whispered, burying his head into her shoulder. “Yes, Belle, yes. And I love you, too.”

At his words, he felt her go boneless in his embrace. She’d waited three decades to hear what she’d always known, and for once in his miserable existence, he knew he’d finally brought someone true happiness.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his lips against her ear. “So sorry you suffered for so long, alone. Regina told me you were dead. I searched anyway, but I couldn’t find you anywhere. If I’d know...if I’d even suspected...I would have moved heaven and earth to find you, I swear it!”

“Shhh, I know,” she murmured, running her fingers soothingly through his hair. “I never once doubted you. I knew somehow, someway, we’d find each other again.” He felt her smile against his neck. “It took a little longer than I thought, but it doesn’t matter now. We have each other, and that’s enough.”

Gold heart dropped to his feet, and he forced himself to pulled back ever so slightly. Looking into her eyes, he felt overwhelmed with love and guilt and fear, and he wished with all his heart that she was right.

But as much as he loved her, as much as he wanted her, it couldn’t be enough.

Because he was still a selfish bastard, and there was one more thing he needed.

“We are together,” he forced out, “and I swear I’ll not let you go again.” He caressed her cheek softly. “But there’ll be time for that, for us. There’ll be time for _everything_. But for right now...there’s still something I must do.” Taking her hand once more in his, he squeezed it tightly. “Will you come with me? Will you help me finish what I started?”

Belle smiled up at him, eclipsing the sun with her radiance.

“I’ll always go with you. I said forever, remember?”

******

  


_"And this journey that we're on.  
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.  
And when you say you love me,  
That's all you have to say.  
I'll always feel this way.”_  


The well finally came into view.

Gold felt his chest tighten when he saw it, his breath constricted by the force of his emotions. Finally. After so long. He was here. It was time.

“Where are we?” Belle asked, her voice breaking into his thoughts.

“This is a very special place, Belle,” he replied reverently, leading her up to the well. “The waters that run below are said to have the power to return that which one has lost.” 

Releasing her hand, Gold reached into his pocket and withdrew the tiny vial. Uncorking it, he held it above the well, admiring its hue and shine.

True Love in a bottle. The most powerful magic in any world.

If this wasn’t enough, nothing would ever be.

Opening his fingers, he released the bottle and let it drop.

For a moment, nothing happened, and he held his breath in fear. If even the slightest thing had gone wrong...

But he neededn’t have worried. The love between Snow and James was too pure to be corrupted even by the Dark One’s touch. And with a sudden gust of wind, a thick purple smoke began to rise from the well.

“What is that?” Belle whispered, transfixed. “I don’t understand...”

“We’re in a land without magic, Belle,” Gold replied, wrapping arm tightly around her as he starred, almost greedily, into the smoke. _It was working, it was working!!_ “And I’m bringing it.” His voice was deep, husky, his burr strengthened by the force of his emotions. “Magic is coming.”

“But...but why?” Belle demanded, tipping her face up, her eyes wide.

“Why?” Gold gave her an almost feral smile as the wind kicked up another plume of smoke. “Because magic...is power.”

_~And when I have it, I will never, ever let anyone harm you, or anyone else I love, again. I swear it.~_

His heart swelled in his chest at the thought of having, for the first time in his life, everything he could ever want. His power. His Belle. And finally... _finally_...his Bae. His son. The boy would be angry and hurt, of course he would. But with gentle Belle by his side, and with him groveling on his knees for forgiveness, perhaps it would all work...somehow. And they could be a family, as they were always meant to be. They would____

“Power.”

Belle’s voice, soft but with an undercurrent of iron he remembered from long ago, broke into his thoughts.

Gently, but with no room for argument, Belle removed his arm from her shoulders and stepped back, the thick smoke now high enough to curl around her ankles and thighs.

“Power again, is it?”

The bitterness in her eyes and voice were like a stab to the heart, as he realized belatedly what his words must have sounded like.

“Belle, please__” he began, reaching for her.

“No.” She took another step back, her eyes locked on his. “No. I won’t do this again, Rumpelstiltskin. I won’t.” Her voice cracked ever so slightly. “I _can’t_.”

Panic was beginning to settle into his heart, as the long-dormant coward began to rear his ugly head. He was _so close_ to his goal, but would he find his son only to lose his True Love? He couldn’t choose between them, he couldn’t!

“I’m not a vain woman,” she said quietly, her hands clenching into fists. “I never was, not even as a princess. But I do have some pride, and while I was willing to beg for your love once, I will not do it again.” She took a deep breath. “I rotted in two prisons, Rumpelstiltskin. One back in our world, and one here. Both courtesy of the queen. Never once did I blame you. Never once did I stop believing that someday, somehow, you’d find me again. I forgave you for rejecting me, because I knew you were scared. I forgave you for shaking me, for tossing me aside. I knew you loved me, even if you refused to admit it. And now, after so long, we’re _finally_ back together, and you’ve managed to put aside your fears and _say the words_ \- that you can love me - and yet you STILL push me aside...for power.”

She looked up at him, her eyes filling with unshed tears, and whispered, “I still love you.I will _always_ love you. But if you do this again, if you choose your power over me, over us...then I have to walk away. And I won’t come back.”

Gold wanted to die. That was all there was to it. He wanted to press his dagger into her tiny little hands and have her plunge it straight into his heart. He was fairly certain nothing short of death could take away this pain, and even then he wondered if it would simply follow him into the afterlife.

He should have known it was too good to be true.

Monsters never had happy endings.

The worst part was knowing she was right, knowing she had every reason to reject him, as he had once rejected her. He’d never deserve her, just as he’d never deserve to have Bae back in his life.

But he’d be damned before he gave either of them up without a fight. This time, he swore the man would win over the coward.

“Belle,” he said lowly, stepping toward her and raising his hands in a gesture of supplication. “You’re right. You’re right about everything. I pushed you away once, claiming my power meant more to me than you, and I was wrong. Dead wrong. And I swear I’ll never do it again.” He gestured to the rising smoke around them, his voice turning into a plea. “But this...this is different, I promise it is. This time it’s not about you and me. You have to trust me when I say I _need_ this power!”

“But why?” she burst out, her beautiful bright eyes still swimming with unshed tears. “Magic drove us apart once. Why would you bring it back again?” She reached out with her hand, but dropped it before he could grasp it.”I won’t even be able to kiss you,” she whispered miserably. “Is that what you want?”

“Oh Belle.” In another moment, Gold was sure he’d no longer able to breath. She was _tearing_ him apart. “No, it’s not what I want. But some things are more important than kisses. Even True Love’s kiss.”

“What, then?” she demanded, tossing her head in a gesture he well remembered from the Dark Castle. “Tell me. Right now. Give me a reason to stay. What could possibly be worth all of this?”

“Not what, dearie,” he whispered, his heart aching. “ _Who_.”

Belle hesitated. “What do you mean?”

He chanced taking another step toward her. “Do you remember, when you went into town...the day you met the queen...and I promised to tell you a story when you came back?” She nodded wordlessly, and he swallowed. “I know it’s a bit late now, but if you’ll give me a chance...I’ll tell you now. I’ll tell you everything.”

She looked at him blankly for a moment, and then her eyes widened. “Your son,” she breathed.

Gold clenched his fingers around his cane. “My son,” he agreed, voice cracking. “My Baelfire.” Another step forward. “I lost him the same way I lost you. I chose my power over being with him...because I was a coward.” He gestured to the forest around them, almost covered now in the purple smoke. “He came here, to this land without magic. He tried to take me with him, to save me from myself.” He bowed his head, the pain and shame of that day threatening to overwhelm him yet again. “I panicked. I broke our deal. I let him go without me. And I’ve been paying for it ever since.”

There was silence for a moment, the wind still kicking up leaves and twigs, and just when he thought Belle had kept her promise to leave, he felt a timid hand on his shoulder.

“And your son...Baelfire...he’s here now?” she asked.

Afraid to look up, Gold nodded. “He’s here. Somewhere. No idea where.”

“That’s why you need the magic,” she prompted. “To find him?”

Forcing himself to meet her eyes, Gold put every ounce of regret into his voice. “When he disappeared, I swore I’d find him again, no matter the cost. Everything I did, every deal I made, all the power I gathered...it was all for this. All to enact the curse that would be me here, to him. This plan has been _three hundred years_ in the making, Belle, and in all that time I never lost focus. I never allowed myself to be distracted from my task.” Gently, he grasped her hand and placed a soft kiss in the center of her palm. “Except once.”

“Good gods,” Belle whispered. “ _That’s_ why you couldn’t let me break your curse. _That’s_ why you needed your power. To find him!”

Gold nodded, rubbing her fingers between his, heart still breaking. “I love you, Belle. Now and always. But I love him, too. And I owe him this.” He shook his head desperately. “I owe him everything.”

And at that, Belle finally allowed her tears to spill down her cheeks, and she threw herself in his arms.

“We’ll find him,” she vowed. “Whatever it takes, we’ll find him.” Her arms tightened around him. “And when we do, both he and I will stand before you, and we’ll watch you give up your powers for good. And then we’ll be a family. We’ll have our happy ending. Forever.”

Gold’s breath caught in his throat.

“You’ll stay with me?” he demanded, grasping her arms and pushing her back just enough so he could look into her eyes, now fierce with determination. “Even after everything, knowing that I pushed away the two people I loved most in the world...in ANY world...you’ll still stand by me?”

Reaching up, Belle gently caressed his cheek with her palm.

“I promised forever, remember?” she reminded him. “You’re not getting out of that deal. Ever.”

And once more, Gold felt himself _break_ , and he fell limply into her arms.

This beautiful, amazing creature was _his_. Against all odds, against everything rational and sane, she was still here. She accepted him and all his darkness, knew his deepest sins and greatest heartbreaks, and still she chose to stand by him.

Perhaps monsters did get happy endings after all.

“I love you, Belle,” he said fiercely. “I’ll never be able to say how much. I know I don’t deserve you. I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life trying make amends, and I can guarantee I’ll screw up more than once while doing it. But no matter happens, know that I do love you. Forever.”

She gave him a tender smile that made his heart melt. “I love you, Rumpelstiltskin. Forever.”

And just before the cloud of magic enveloped them, Belle stood on her toes, tipped up her face, and touched her lips to his.

  


_"When you say you love me...  
Do you know how I love you?”_  



End file.
